A Message from the Rabbi: Elul and Teshuvah — Returning to G-d, Returning to Oneself

On September 1st, the final month of the year 5779 (according to the Jewish calendar) begins — Elul. During this month, we reflect upon the past year and prepare for the future. Consequently, it is a period dedicated to repentance and consolidating one's connection with the Creator. In Jewish tradition, this process is referred to as Teshuvah — "return" (to the Creator, and therefore, to oneself). This inner work serves as preparation for the upcoming year — Rosh Hashanah.

The Essence of Teshuvah

Numerous books and articles are dedicated to Teshuvah, analyzing its various stages in detail from inception to completion. Nevertheless, there are several fundamental principles applicable to all multifaceted aspects of Teshuvah that underlie all its forms and levels. It is immaterial whether its starting point is high or low, whether it aims for spiritual perfection or sets more modest objectives. In any case, every form of Teshuvah comprises two fundamental elements: abandoning the wrong path of the past and choosing a better trajectory to follow in the future.

Even the literal meaning of the word itself indicates that Teshuvah is, in essence, a turn, whether it represents a total and definitive change of direction or a multitude of individual turning points of varying significance.

Three times a day, a Jewish person asks for Teshuvah (repentance) and forgiveness. The significance of this repetition lies in the fact that each request symbolizes the potential for at least some change. Typically, when life flows smoothly, sudden changes and sharp turns are not visible; however, looking back at past actions, one can often identify the precise point that proved pivotal for an entire life, even if it went unnoticed at the time.

Recognizing the Need to Change One's Path

As previously noted, two factors determine the possibility of a turn:

1) acknowledging that the past, whatever it was, is imperfect and requires correction; 2) resolving to change direction and follow a new path in the future.

The realization of the need for change manifests in various ways. Sometimes, a distinct awareness of sinfulness, lack, and flaw burdens the soul, leading to a strong desire to escape these feelings and cleanse oneself of vice and sin. However, the desire for change may be less acute; it often manifests as a sense of imperfection, a regret for unrealized potential. Thus, a desire arises to seek something different, distinct from the old in substance or form.

Generally, the more acute the initial perception of a deficiency or flaw in the past, the more dramatic the resulting change will be — even to the point of extremes and a complete reversal of direction. Conversely, when dissatisfaction with the past or present is more moderate, the turn will be more gradual — both in pace and in intensity of reaction.

Rigidity of the Heart

The greatest obstacle to Teshuvah, affecting both the wicked and the righteous, is self-satisfaction. A person who is pleased with themselves feels that they have succeeded, that "everything is perfect" (and if reality is imperfect, those flaws belong to the world at large; caused by society, family, or ultimately the Creator, etc.).

Spiritual and moral complacency has no objective relation to a person's actual state. Someone regarded by many as a sinner and wrongdoer may perceive themselves in an entirely different light; such an individual will never achieve Teshuvah. Conversely, one who appears flawless and pure to others, yet remains conscious of their own shortcomings, has the path of Teshuvah fully open to them.

A great sage defined the primary obstacle to Teshuvah as "rigidity of the heart" (Tanya, Ch. 29). Dullness of mind is easily recognized as a cognitive deficit. However, "rigidity of the heart" is more insidious — in this state, emotional perception of one's own deficiencies and issues is blocked. Even if a person is full of wisdom and intellectually capable, it will not influence their actual behavior unless there is an emotional awareness of deficiency to some extent.

In many cases of Teshuvah, when the pace of change begins to accelerate from a certain point, an "opening of the heart" occurs, meaning the initial block regarding one's own perfection is overcome. This breakthrough then leads to deeper awareness and, consequently, to a stronger response.

These observations apply universally: to those who have lived distant from everything sacred and feel no lack in it, and to those who lead a pious life yet are so satisfied with their status that they fail to see how far they are from perfection.

This moment of recognition, the awakening of the soul, is the starting point of "confession." When vague anxiety transforms into a clearer realization of deficiency, and when this acknowledgement is expressed in words spoken to oneself, to G-d, or to another person, the first stage of the inner transformation is complete, which relates to the past — to the person's state before the change began.

Resolving for the Future

The second component of Teshuvah is the commitment to change — the determination to alter one's path from this moment forward. In a sense, this commitment is a natural extension of the first step toward change. Its power, direction, and endurance depend largely on the clarity and strength of the initial feelings regarding past conduct.

One who, experiencing mild discomfort, describes themselves and their past as merely "imperfect" (or uses another intellectually sophisticated formulation that expresses the same sentiment) does not necessarily arrive at a decision to change, let alone take practical steps.

On the other hand, the fact that a person condemns past actions, feels regret, and recognizes their own flaws can lead to a gradual descent into despair and resignation to "fate," without hope or attempt at rectification. Such despondency, considered by many to be a severe affliction of the soul, not only yields no positive results but sometimes drives a person to indulge even further in their vices and shortcomings.

Consequently, a person may feel so overwhelmed and insignificant (viewing themselves and their destiny from a moral, religious, or any other perspective) that they attempt to erase the source of their downfall from memory. Such avoidance and the suppression of the emotions associated with it usually lead to immersion in passions or other activities that share a common capacity to temporarily or permanently numb the feelings. The purpose of this escape is to find relief from distress. Turning to alcohol, substances, or other forms of diversion is an attempt to dull dissatisfaction, but it does not resolve the issue. Such self-indulgence only creates a false sense of relief and the illusion that one can proceed without changing direction.

It follows that repentance itself, despite its undeniable foundational importance, must be accompanied by another component — hope and faith in the possibility of change. In this sense, Teshuvah (the principle of which states that one can always return, from any starting point, regardless of how far one has fallen) is a cornerstone of hope and spiritual awakening. The realization that the door is always open, that a path to Teshuvah exists, and that no situation is entirely irreversible can, in itself, serve as the catalyst that enables Teshuvah to occur.

A Path of Length and Brevity

It is essential to remember that we do not always execute what we firmly resolve to do. The difficulties and obstacles along the way are significant. Routine and habits that define a lifestyle do not simply vanish, even when one resolves to change in the right direction. Nevertheless, the will to change and the decision to pursue it are crucial steps, even if the resolution is not immediately fulfilled. As long as this resolution does not degenerate into empty talk or self-deception (since a person is capable of deceiving themselves as easily as others), it retains its significance, however modest that may be.

Indeed, in isolated instances, the greatest turning point in a person's life can be sharp, sudden, and instantaneous. Typically, however, such a turn is preceded by many less dramatic and often unnoticed stages — small decisions not fully realized, and unfulfilled desires. Yet, when the time comes, they accumulate to form a single essence.

In short, Teshuvah — is an entire domain that accommodates two apparent opposites.

On one hand, it is an exceedingly long journey that, in truth, has no end. When a person resolves to attain Teshuvah, then regardless of their starting point, every subsequent moment of their life constitutes the realization of that initial inner decision to make the turn.

On the other hand, Teshuvah is a minuscule point, a turn in miniature. Teshuvah is a moment of reflection, remorse, and thoughts of change. Teshuvah is a flash of insight calling upon a person to change and improve.

These two dimensions of Teshuvah do not contradict but rather complement each other. On one hand, nothing is more difficult than Teshuvah, because Teshuvah involves self-transformation and the creation of a new identity. On the other hand, nothing is simpler than Teshuvah: even a fraction of a second spent turning one's life around suffices.

Thus, one who has achieved Teshuvah resembles a traveler who, in an instant, decides to alter their route. From that moment onward, they no longer tread the previous path, but a entirely new one. Yet the new path, like the old, is long, and its end is not in sight, just like the journey to oneself.

May we all have a productive month of Elul.